In The Land Of Ever: A Night At The Pearl
by Esbatty
Summary: A one-shot, and prequel to the ongoing story "In The Land Of Ever", featuring Alistair Theirin and Vann Cousland taking a rare night off for a few pints and possibly a pretty or two.


Alistair was both impressed and bewildered that his fellow Warden would actually have the testicular fortitude to not only walk into Capitol of Ferelden, which was currently governed by men who had branded their duo as traitors to the crown, but also that they were going here not on some kind of highly important part of their quest to end the Blight but rather to get a drink.

Yes, this venture into the enemy's domain was specifically for Alistair and Vann to have a night away from all the singing, lectures, belching, and other unsettling behaviour from their non-Grey Warden companions. Which, Alistair was all for, but it was Vann who insisted it be in Denerim.

"Seriously, Vann, we're not gonna get away with this. One of them is bound to sniff this out", Alistair found himself repeating once again as he grinned broadly and gave a little wave at Sergeant Kylon.

"You worry too much, my Sweet Prince."

"Shhhhh, ix-nay on the ince-pray."

In the midst of the dusk-addled market square Vann Cousland dropped to his knees and began bowing before Alistair, "Oh ye of Theirin blood, I humble myself before the Lost Son of Ferelden. Forever may your reign be cherished and remembered in all the hearts of this great land."

"Maker's Breath, okay you've had your fun. Now stop kissing my boots. I'll have you know I stepped in- yeah, thats right keep spitting, mmm, you can just taste the Elfroot. Your Witch has been feeding him again. That hound could never digest that right."

Cousland half choked-half laughed while wiping the spittle and boot-cake from his mouth. The pair wandered about the market area as the merchants and late shoppers made last minute deals and purchases before locking up the stalls for the night.  
Now there would be only two places open to the public in this section of the City: The Wonders of Thedas, as the Mage types loved night shopping, and The Gnawed Noble, the only one of which you could get a decent drink.  
"We can't go to the Gnawed Noble," Alistair whispered,"they'll probably have someone waiting for us in there, you know like Lothering."

"Hmm, you're right. We wouldn't want another comely Orlesian Chantry Sister possibly wanting one of us to 'lick her lamppost'."

"Ha, and here I thought I was the only bastard in the group."

"Hey, my parents were... oh, I see what happened there."

The Ex-Templar beamed at his quick witted victory over the de facto leader.

"So, since we can't go to the Noble we should - go back to camp?"

"No, no. I promised you a drink and a night away from your dark-haired antagonist. So with that sonuva**** Howe running Denerim there is pretty much just one other place open right now that could give a couple of odd gentlemen a roof overhead and a couple pints in the belly."

"What are you gibbering about, Cous?"

"Al, we're going to - The Pearl."

Alistair's eyes widened a bit and slowly his head started to shake from side to side, "No. No. No,no. NO. Absolutely negatively - No. I can't - I won't - I shan't."

"C'mon! Its just a drink or three. Besides, Sanga loves you. She would not stop talking about how much you looked like King Maric."

"I remember, that was Zev's fault for bringing up the royal look-a-like story in front of her while you were watching Isabela duel those card players. You could practically see the glint of Sovereigns in her eyes."

"Yeah, Isabela sure loves to win."

Alistair snapped his fingers at Vann, "Hey, hey we're talking about Sanga here, you - cad. I don't know how Morrigan puts up with your coveting other women."

"Isabela was before Morrigan and I, had a more - perfect union."

"Ugh, spare me."

"I thought I did put it in rather delicate terms, oh unspoiled one."

"Perfect Union, huh?"

"What of it?"

"So you asked her to...?" the Blonde Warden put his hands together as if in prayer, then pantomimed an overly tongue involved kiss.

"No, not anything like that. But she did gave me a ring, uhh, to track me in case I get kidnapped or separated from the group."

"Or swab another poop-deck. Who knew the harpy could get so possessive?"

"You've no idea."

After awhile Alistair couldn't help but notice the route they were taking while usually bright and teeming with the Citizenry during the day, was rather dark and devoid of both guards and - witnesses.

"Fine, since we're halfway there, and being rather thirsty, I'll stop protesting but could we light a torch or something? Its awful dark."

"And spoooooky, apparently."

"You, ser, are ridiculous and have lowered my opinion of your fellow Nobles."

"Oh but you know you love me, my pretty-pretty prince. Now pretend I am a seductive Elven Mage escaped from the Circle in Antiva and you are the dreamy, blue-eyed Templar who has me at his tender mercies. However shall we shirtlessly pass the time on the long voyage home?"

"Stop imitating Zevran, its eerie how you can even do the accent", Alistair recoiled from Vann's portrayal of their resident Assassin. "You don't act this way in front of everyone else, you know. How exactly did Lel put it?"  
"Severe. She said I was very severe."

"She is right you know, its like you shutdown when it comes to handling The Blight. No passion, no joy, you just - do it. 'Werewolves are eating Elf babies, stop them oh Mighty Grey Warden' and then you just practically salute and march off dragging us with you despite how we feel."

Vann scowled, "It's our duty isn't it. We drink the blood, pass out, and wake up defenders of all of Thedas?"

"Well yes but its - we shouldn't lose ourselves to it. We're still human. We're not mindless parts of some mechanism. Its not the entirety of our identity."

"Its not? Because if I remember right, all the people we loved, everyone we cared about who were aware we even existed pretty much got wiped out in a short space of time. Highever, Ostagar, and at Redcliffe Arl Eamon is hanging on by a thread leaving just Teagan and Isolde, and she doesn't even particularly like you."

"Stop it, Cousland."

"Stop what? The truth? Because thats how I see it. And the thing is I try to find some damn levity in all of it, I give it up to Morrigan. I start this relationship with her and I have Wynne jumping down my throat about it. On top of that you goad her into supreme levels of annoyance. Plus I have Leliana bordering on a hair pulling fight, and Morrigan the whole time is bloody flirting with damn the QUNARI!"

"Sten? OUR Sten?"

"Shut up."

"Virgin?"

"I said shut up."

"I knew Leliana was all Me-Ow with Morrigan but, just wow. Really? Sten? I don't see what could possibly be attractive about him other than - well, I mean he is quite large."

"Quiet you."

"She is rather thin so I assume he'd, not that I have any kind experience other than what I've heard from other Templars and Wardens, just I assume he'd not entirely fi-"

"Oh look a large group of drunks outside of The Pearl, I'm gonna go start something so maybe I'll take a blow to the head and hopefully your imagery will go away."

Alistair practically tackled Vann to the ground before his fellow Warden could utter a single fight instigating word.

"No fighting. Drink. We'll drink away the bad. Drink it all away. We'll just be a pair of regular fellows, taking a normal night out to just drink. Sound good?"

"You can let go of me now."

"But you smell of cheese and herbs."

"OFF!"

"Okay, okay", Alistair picked himself off his friend and they both dusted themselves off. "Great now I'm hungry for cheese."

"And I'm hungry for-"

"NO. No women, this is two gents drinking and swappng stories about fighting and farting and such."

"I'll share the fighting stories and you can share the farting ones."

"Its not my fault Morrigan left me wth spoiled supplies the last time you left me behind."

Vann held the door open for Alistair, "You always blame Morrigan. She is not so bad, at least to me."

"Of course she is not going to seem so bad to you, with goo-goo eyes and howling from the tent that echoes all over camp."

"She does not howl."

"I'm talking about you."

"Ah."

"Don't 'ah' me, Vann. I don't know what she is doing to you but you even worry the Dog."

Cousland used his free hand to shove the royal bastard the rest of the way into the brothel. It took several minutes for the Wardens to convince Sanga they were simply there to drink and not to partake of her highly skilled men, women, nor nugs, much to her disappointment.

"I hate you. You know that?" the Senior Warden informed his partner.

"What? Don't be rude. She's our hostess." Vann motioned with his mug at the petite ginger-haired Elf that was currently filling Alistair's tankard with more ale.

"You paid her to sit in my lap as we drink. I clearly said, no women."

"Ah, ah, you meant 'No Women' for me. That was your implication, you were not specific and now you have-" the young Elf slid onto Alistair's lap and offered him the drink, "a fetching beauty to keep us company while we partake of this establishment's most potent of potables."

The girl's legs were draped across his lap and Alistair had difficulty adjusting himself accordingly as while the two Wardens sat and drank, in relative silence, the Elf busied herself by staring at his features and occsssionally breathing propostions into his ear.

"Okay, thats - thats great. Yeah, I'm uncomfortable, right now. Really really-"

"Don't worry, ser, I can make things better for ya", she cut him off, hanging her arms around his neck, lifting one leg up and then straddled the man.

"... need to find an icy river to stand in for a while."

Vann grinned from ear to ear, he could see the amusement Morrigan gained from torturing Alistair from time to time.  
"Alright, its been a pleasure having you take great care of us, but now it seems I and my partner here must speak of business. Being night and all you must understand how clandestine the very nature of our business is, and as we'd not want to see a pretty lass like you caught up any intrigues and harm's way we must bid you goodbye."

The girl stuck out her bottom lip while Alistair tried his best to look very grim despite the heavy blush that still warmed his cheeks. With a sigh she unwrapped herself from her guest and before turning to leave planted a quick kiss on the secret prince's lips.

Alistair turned and stared daggers at his friend, "You are a wicked, wicked man."

"You have no idea", Vann smirked.

"So were you serious that we're going to talk business?"

"Well business has been particularly good, so why not?"

"Fine."

"Now, I picked up a rather interesting item from a merchant about a month back. You had to study magic and history during your training, right?"

"Yeah, its part and parcel of the whole Templar thing."

"So you know about the Dwarves and their works?"

"A little bit of everything from Anvils to Ziggurats. Though since they're more enchantment minded, its just surface knowledge. Pun fully intended."

"Always with the funny. Okay, so I was wondering what do you know about... Golems?" 


End file.
